O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go

O Love that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give thee back the life I owe,

That in thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,

I yield my flickering torch to thee;

My heart restores its borrowed ray,

That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day

May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,

I cannot close my heart to thee;

I trace the rainbow through the rain,

And feel the promise is not vain,

That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,

I dare not ask to fly from thee;

I lay in dust life’s glory dead,

And from the ground there blossoms red

Life that shall endless be.

-George Matheson 

Only One Life

Two little lines I heard one day,

Traveling along life’s busy way;

Bringing conviction to my heart,

And from my mind would not depart;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one,

Soon will its fleeting hours be done;

Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet,

And stand before His Judgement seat;

Only one life,’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice,

Gently pleads for a better choice

Bidding me selfish aims to leave,

And to God’s holy will to cleave;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years,

Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;

Each with its clays I must fulfill,

living for self or in His will;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore,

When Satan would a victory score;

When self would seek to have its way,

Then help me Lord with joy to say;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep,

In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;

Faithful and true what e’er the strife,

Pleasing Thee in my daily life;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn,

And from the world now let me turn;

Living for Thee, and Thee alone,

Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one,

Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;

And when at last I’ll hear the call,

I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;

Only one life,’twill soon be past,

Only what’s done for Christ will last.

-C.T. Studd 

Lord, I give up my own plans and purposes, 

all my own desires, hopes and ambitions, 

and I accept Thy will for my life. 

I give up myself, my life, my all, 

utterly to Thee, to be Thine forever. 

Fill me now and seal me with Thy Spirit. 

Work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, 

for to me to live is Christ. 

Amen.

-Betty Scott Stam 

Moonless Trust

     Some of you are perhaps feeling that you are voyaging just now on a moonless sea. Uncertainty surrounds you. There seem to be no signs to follow. Perhaps you feel about to be engulfed by loneliness. There is no one to whom you can speak of your need. Amy Carmichael wrote of such a feeling when, as a missionary of twenty-six, she had to leave Japan because of poor health, then travel to China for recuperation, but then realized God was telling her to go to Ceylon. (All this preceded her going to India, where she stayed for fifty-three years.) I have on my desk her original handwritten letter of August 25, 1894, as she was en route to Colombo. "All along, let us remember, we are not asked to understand, but simply to obey.... On July 28, Saturday, I sailed. We had to come on board on Friday night, and just as the tender (a small boat) where were the dear friends who had come to say goodbye was moving off, and the chill of loneliness shivered through me, like a warm love-clasp came the long-loved lines--'And only Heaven is better than to walk with Christ at midnight, over moonless seas.' I couldn't feel frightened then. Praise Him for the moonless seas--all the better the opportunity for proving Him to be indeed the El Shaddai, 'the God who is Enough.'"  

     Let me add my own word of witness to hers and to that of the tens of thousands who have learned that He is indeed Enough. He is not all we would ask for (if we were honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we would as for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. It is when the sea is moonless that the Lord has become my Light. 

                                                                                              -Elisabeth Elliot, Keeping a Quiet Heart 

Learning to Offer

    If through losing what this world prizes we are enabled to gain what it despises--treasure in heaven, invisible and incorruptible--isn't it worth any kind of suffering? What is it worth to us to learn a little bit more of what the Cross means--life out of death, the transformation of earth's losses and heartbreaks and tragedies? 

    Poverty has not been my experience, but God has allowed in the lives of each of us some sort of loss, the withdrawal of something we valued, in order that we may learn to offer ourselves a little more willingly, to allow the touch of death on one more thing we have clutched so tightly, and thus know fullness and freedom and joy that much sooner. We're not naturally inclined to love God and seek His Kingdom. Trouble may help to incline us--that is, it may tip us over, put some pressure on us, lean us in the right direction.

                                                                                             -Elisabeth Elliot, Keeping a Quiet Heart 

A Smiling Face

God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; 
He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines of never-failing skill, 
He treasures up His bright designs, and works His sovereign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take, the clouds ye so much dread, 
are big with mercy, and shall break In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace; 
Behind a frowning providence, He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour; 
The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err, and scan his work in vain; 
God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.
-William Cowper 

Thankful

"While I was praying for you, in a sense, I was thankful for the season you're in - thankful that the sufferings of this world are never just "suffering" but instead "suffering unto glory." They're neither purposeless nor hopeless. They have a direction, and that direction is Christ. I really can't imagine what you're going through, especially while so far from your PA spiritual community, but one thing I am certain of is the incomparable beauty of the intimacy that you are/will experience with Christ. I wanted that to be an encouragement for you...one grounded in reality, not of abstract terms, that though none of us can give you a solution, although we'd love to end all the pain and sadness within you, Christ is your perfect peace in the storm." 

A snippet of an email sent by a beloved sister. I thank God for these sisters who point me to Christ, my perfect peace. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness that is evident in these friendships. Thank you for your provisions that are plentiful in the desert. 

It'll all be over soon...

and quite frankly, I'm not ready for it to be over. 

The Thief

Your eyes are full, full of the future of us
The air changes as you look across
At me in that wondering way

It is as if I knew you before we spoke
Do our hearts know something we don't?
Conspiring, converging without giving us any say

You sing me to sleep, talk down my walls
Look through my windows as I wait
You could be the thief I give the key to

You're ruining me
With secrets and gestures and looks
With sonnets from secondhand books
Playing the chords in me nobody knew how to play

You sing me to sleep, talk down my walls
Look through my windows as I wait
You could be the thief I give the key to

It fits in your hand like the water in rain
It unlocks our two different selves
And shows we are the same
Rather than wait til I put me out for the taking
You're breaking, you're breaking into my heart
And I'm letting you

Your eyes are full, full of the future of us

Happy Birthday 엄마

어리석은 나의 어릴적 모습:

엄마가 헤어지라고 할때,

12살에 나는 울면서, "그남자 사랑해!!!!"  라고 말할때, 

"웃기지마. 드라마 찍으냐?" 라고 말해줫던 엄마. 

ㅋㅋㅋ 

내가 가장 힘들때, 

듣고싶은 말을 안해주고, 

꼭 필요한 말을 해준 엄마. 

사람을 사랑하는 방법,

하나님을 사랑하는 방법,

엄마의 삶으로 가르쳐 주셔서 감사합니다. 

생일축하해요 엄마,

사랑해요 

<3 딸맹이

Cornerstone

Heavenly Father, this heart of mine has been so deceived, so attracted to sweet temptations of this world. Time after time, I am disappointed by the foolishness of my hope in these things. I place my hope in man, in things, in careers, in dreams... and it always falls short. I long to say whole heartedly that my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. To not trust in sweet temptations but solely on the name of Jesus Christ. Oh Lord, grant me the faith to trust in you when the storms come. To rest in your unchanging grace and love. Let my thanksgiving not be circumstantial. Rather Lord, grant me the faith to confess that I will still rejoice in the Lord even when the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the storm comes, or when life happens... etc. For I can rejoice because of Christ and Christ alone. The Lord of all, the Redeemer of those who are weak and lowly. I thank you for your compassion that you remember my frame is weak and made of dust. I thank you for your daily grace that is perfect and sufficient for me. I thank you that you hold onto me more than I to you. I thank you that you are loving and all that is withheld from me is a gracious withholding. I thank you for the solid rock of of Christ on which I stand. I pray all these things in the sweetest name of Jesus, Amen.

Mercy, mercy

May I never lose the wonder, oh the wonder of your mercy

May I sing your Hallelujah, Hallelujah Amen

May I never lose the wonder, oh the wonder of your mercy

May I sing your Hallelujah, Hallelujah Amen

Mercy, mercy, as endless as the sea

I'll sing your Hallelujah for all eternity 

I will kneel in the dust at the foot of the cross,
where Mercy paid for me.

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, 
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, 
where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;
 hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. 

Let me learn by paradox 
that the way down is the way up, 
that to be low is to be high, 
that the broken heart is the healed heart, 
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, 
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, 
that to have nothing is to possess all, 
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, 
that to give is to receive, 
that the valley is the place of vision. 

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, 
and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine; 
let me find Thy light in my darkness, 
Thy life in my death, 
Thy joy in my sorrow, 
Thy grace in my sin, 
Thy riches in my poverty, 
Thy glory in my valley.

-The Valley of Vision 

Coffee Shop

I never knew just what it was, about this old coffee shop that I love so much...

All of the while I never knew

I never knew just what it was, about this old coffee shop that I love so much

All of the while I never knew 

Fall

Listening to this song, as I watch the leaves fall inevitably. 

Leaves fall, time passes but these words bring comfort and strong assurance...

All flesh is grass,

and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.

The grass withers, the flower fades

when the breath of the Lord blows on it;

surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades,

but the word of our God will stand forever.

Isaiah 40:6-8

I am rich

Lately, we have had an increasing number of conversations around our cursed, round table (once you sit, you can never leave). One night, we were sharing about how grateful we were to have one another. One sister shared how many have commented on our friendships, wishing for this type of community. She said, "There really is nothing special about us that we would have these friendships. It's not like we're particularly good at being friends, but it is the Lord's overly abundant grace towards us. In future times, where I might ask 'God, where are you?' I will look back on these very moments and be reminded of God's ever-abounding faithfulness in my life." 

Just 3 years ago, in California, I had been praying for good community here at Westminster. I remember journaling about how I hoped and longed for godly sisters to walk with. And as I sat there at the round table, I was moved by the way God has answered those prayers. He has answered beyond what I deserve. These sisters have been the greatest source of comfort, encouragement, and joy these past 3 years. I have learned more about myself and about the Lord through these friendships. They have laughed with me in our silliest of moments. They have cried with me in the hardest moments. They have seen my ugliness and have continued to extend grace and love. They have walked with me in my longest nights. They have carried my heaviest burdens. But most importantly, they have pointed me to our beautiful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I am truly rich indeed.

Dedicated to the women I want to grow old with. Love you. 

사랑이란...

사랑이란 말이 어울리는 사람
만남이란 말이 나는 너무 좋아

What is man...

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 
what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him? 
Psalm 8:3-4

Great is Thy Faithfulness

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; 

his mercies never come to an end; 

they are new every morning; 

great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Thank you Lord for showing me your covenant faithfulness. That your mercies will never end, but are as certain as the sun rise every morning. Thank you for your faithfulness even in my afflictions, that you call me to remember your steadfast love in the midst of my sufferings. Your steadfast love which has been displayed in your Son. Your Son, who was faithful and humble to the point of the cross. What amazing love! Thank you Lord that you are mindful of my frame, that I am made of dust. And yet, you provide what I need, in a way that is ultimately glorifying to you and good for me. Lord, thank you! You are my good portion, may my soul delight and ever hope in you. So great is Your faithfulness, may that move me to humility and loving adoration to you. 

In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 

Goodbye 25...

Today, I say goodbye to 25 and hello to 26. A friend asked me during lunch today, how I would sum up my 25th year. I answered and decided it would be a good thing to reflect more deeply here. 

This past 25th year has been one of acceptance. Accepting who I am, where I am, where I'm going. I entered seminary (23) kicking and screaming. I started my first ministry job, terrified and unsure of what I was doing. It's taken 2 years to adjust and accept joyfully that my lots have fallen in beautiful places (Psalm 16:5-6). 

I've learned to accept where I am. I was so insecure about being in ministry, about who I was and what I was called to do. But I'm certain of this road. I can't see myself doing something else. I love ministry and school. I love serving and walking with the people of God, seeing them grow and mature in the grace and love of Christ. I regret the 2 years that I took for granted, but I know that this tension was one that I need to work through. 

I look back on my life and see evidences of God's faithfulness, goodness, mercy, wisdom, sovereignty, and patience displayed all throughout. I see why God chose to close specific doors and open others. Though I question certain things now, I know that He holds my lot and that He will allow them to fall in pleasant places. This post has been particularly encouraging as I reflect on God's character and the grace He bestows for sinners like me. 

I pray for this next 26th year, Lord willing, that it would be filled with even more revelations of Christ and his Word. I pray that He would fill me with wisdom and love that I might outpour onto others. I pray that He would be my joy and delight, that "when all around my soul gives way, He then will be my hope and stay."

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; 

you hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 

indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; 

in the night also my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me;

because he is at my right hand, 

I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, 

and my whole being rejoices;

my flesh also dwells secure.

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,

or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 

-Psalm 16:5-11

The best cake ever!!! A taco cake! c/o Quiz

#TBT HOME

It's been exceptionally cold here, making me miss the warm Cali sun. A throwback to my last dinner with friends and family before moving out to Philly. It's been two and a half years already!!! And I'm soon entering into my last semester of year 3 in grad school. 언배리버벌! Missing home, the sun, and the friends. 

Oh! and who would have thought that one of these peeps would soon follow in my footsteps... 2 years later... :D 

Can you spot him/her? 

 

 Though they're far away, I'm so grateful for these brothers and sisters. <3 you and miss you!